Why be a Foster Mom…

I was asked today why I would turn my life upside down for children that weren’t mine.

I hesitated for a moment and said “There is a good chance that in the future, my foster child may not remember my name. There is a good chance that in the future, my foster child may not remember my face. But I can assure you that each foster child who comes through my home and into my heart will remember one thing; that for a period in his/her life, he/she was loved, and someday down the road, he/she will blossom into something better because of it.”

I truly believe when you share God’s love with a child in need, you are changing the life of a child, and changing the world. You are answering God’s call to serve Him and His children in need and for that, I’m willing to turn my life upside down.

If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, DM me.

CBD Oil- Did it work- Find out!

As you know, I had my resection done on 10/18 and so far, so good….well-sorta.

The first 3 months after my surgery were complete bliss. No nausea, no pain, no heartburn, NADA- we’re talking normal people, I felt normal for once. For the first time in 10 years I actually had forgotten that I had Crohn’s Disease.

Along about the 6th month, good old Crohns said “Ah, bean, don’t forget I’m here” and gave me a good ol’ kick in the right side. My first reaction of course was “you gotta be fucking kidding me!” Right away, my negative side reared its ugly head and said “I KNEW IT!” I knew it was back, that alien I birthed, I knew it was just a moment before the gloom came back into my life and I’d be right back in the bed day after day missing life.

I spent 2 weeks of pitying myself. Nay sayer, I definitely was. I just knew I needed another surgery and was hating life again.

But yes, I’m tossing a but in there, it was 2 weeks of side pain until I did this and you won’t believe it. I bit the bullet and went down to the dispensary. Yep, me. Good old goodie two shoes, you know the one – yeah that’s me. Well, I set that all aside and decided I was going to try it.

Walked into the dispensary with my head held high, a little embarrassed but really had no idea what I was looking at. Thank goodness, most of the employees are very educated on their products. I found a woman who was very quick to answer my questions and lead me in the right direction.

After going over a brief description of my illness and pains, she led me to a CBD product. And just for clarification, these workers are not medically licensed. I’m assuming they are die hard pot smokers and are full of education. By now we should all know what CBD oil is. For those of you who don’t CBD is one of many compounds, known as cannabinoids, in the cannabis plant. Using CBD oil is not the same as using or smoking whole cannabis. A person can use CBD
oil in different ways to relieve various symptoms. And from what I have been learning the list of symptoms it helps is extensive!

After spending about 30 minutes in the dispensary, I decided to bite the bullet and just do it. Did I feel a little odd about it, sure did, but after all its for medical reasons and about now I’m willing to try anything once.

She suggested a CBD product that was 1:1, meaning the CBD and THC mg’s were equal. I really don’t want to feel that high that comes from marijuana, but she said to take it at night while I was sleeping and if the product did make me high, I’d be sleeping and in a safe zone. I agreed.

So, off I go to the counter to pay. Yeah, it’s my turn, but wait, they don’t
take credit cards you need to pay in cash. Thank goodness they have a convenient ATM right there otherwise; I may have just walked right out never to turn back. I take out $100 for this CBD product and pay the cashier and head out on my merry ol’ way. This is an image of the product I used.

That night, very unsure and possibly sporting buyers remorse, I decided to just try it. If I didn’t like it, I could always give it away, right? Ok, just one dropper under the tongue, ok- now hold for 30 seconds then swallow. Swallowed-yuck! What a horrible tasting concoction! And what made matters worse, is that taste doesn’t go away until the next day. And the burping, my goodness, what was that all about?

In any case, it’s done and I’m on night 4 of this ritual. And I’m here to report that my joint pain has improved, and the side pain has definitely gone from a 10 to a 6 in pain level. I’m not sure if its psychosomatic or what, but I’m going to stick with it until the bottle is gone.

Did I get high, you ask? Well, yes, I did the first night. I felt really heavy in my bed almost like I was sinking into the mattress. Limbs and torso just felt weighed down. When I would look around the room, things seemed a little odd but nothing that was alarming. A definitely bonus was that I slept really well that night. Subsequent days, I don’t feel that little high anymore,
the taste is improving or I am getting use to it and I’m still sleeping well.

High Five everyone~!

I have a lot planned for myself in 2020 and no time to let Crohn’s Disease
and it’s associated friend joint pain steal my sunshine, NOT THIS YEAR!

Have you tried CBD and how did it work for you?

After my Cecal Resection

So here we are, two months after my surgery and all I can say is….we’ll I’m afraid to say anything because of the predictability of Crohn’s Disease. So many reports, you know, the one where they say the majority of patients suffering from Crohn’s disease will undergo at least one surgical resection of the bowel in the course of their disease. And that although surgery greatly improves the quality of life the beneficial effect is only temporary. Yeah, those.

4 weeks post surgery.

As far as the surgery, it gave me what I needed when I needed it. But, I am also well prepared for the fact I will need surgery in the future. With my Crohn’s being rated as moderate to severe it just ups the chances. In some ways, I’m glad I’ve experienced it already, so that if/when the time comes for more surgery I’ll know what to expect and how to deal with myself and the recovery.

Moon face is dissipating and the color in my face is returning.

Prior to surgery, I would eat and then pain would come. Now I eat, and I sit waiting for the pain to start, but it doesn’t. It’s a hard concept for me to grasp, it feels so unnatural. I can eat food, and not be in pain or nauseated afterwards. Wow, what a concept!

Looking for a new man!

Now, I am almost 12 weeks post-op. I went back to work full-time after two weeks and was literally doing everything I was doing prior to my surgery and then some!  I drove just days after my surgery and I was fine. I have so much more energy, its simply amazing. I’m able to eat food when we go out to eat and not regret it later. I feel like surgery has had a positive impact on my life. I feel like my family and friends are getting to know a new “fun” Kelly that isn’t always laying on the couch exhausted or too sick to do anything.

A fun day at the Clown Motel in Tonapah, NV

Having this surgery has changed my life in just 12 short weeks. I can’t even imagine how much it’s going to change my life in the next year or two. I know the statistics aren’t in my favor, but until then I will totally be living my best life with a foot less of intestine, a ileocecal valve and a bigger smile on my face!

WARNING: Graphic Image of my Ileocecal Valve

Yes, it’s a fact; Chronies cannot get a cure from surgery.  Estimates suggest that somewhere between 60 and 80% of sufferers will have surgery at some point. And 85 percent of those patients will experience a relapse within 20 years. And that, my friends, SUCKS!

Most of those of us who undergo surgery because Crohn’s medications haven’t controlled the illness have accept the idea that an operation is inevitable, and it’s very easy to get caught up in all sorts of negative self-talk that goes something like this:

“It will finally stop hurting, won’t it?”

“I’ll probably be unable to hide the scar and it will be hideous.”

“My dating life is bound to digress.”

“Life will be 100 percent better now and I’ll be able to get all the things I’ve been putting off done, or will I be sick again in a few months?”

Seriously, if you are like me, it’s taxing to strike a balance between optimism and reality.  The tendency is to believe that the surgery will fix everything that those horrible medications couldn’t and that without the affected tissue, I will be a whole lot healthier. Right?!

For the most part, many of us after a surgery are healthier.  However, we start to go down a slippery slope when we mistake “healthier” for a belief that we’re cured.  I have found myself in that current thought pattern. I’m running around Las Vegas like I don’t have a care in the world and that I don’t have Crohns Disease.

I’m very fearful though, of re-sparking the pain and symptoms somehow. From something I may eat to a side movement or sudden jolt. I know that at some point, the disorder is likely to start causing problems again, but I’m hopeful it will be far down the line. This realization has actually lead me to learn to savor each healthy, comfortable and pain free (symptom free) moment while it lasts.  Living in the present moment is really hard for those of us who have had to give up so much control of our lives to a chronic illness. But, look, I’m doing it and so can you.

I wanted to post an image of the alien that I gave birth to. This was my diseased portion of my colon. According to my surgeon this is my ileocecal valve. A brief definition of the ileocecal valve (ileal papilla, ileocaecal valve, Tulp’s valve, Tulpius valve, Bauhin’s valve, ileocecaleminence, valve of Varolius or colic valve) is a sphincter muscle valve that separates the small intestine and the large intestine. Doc placed her fist next to it so I could see how large it was. That bugger is what caused me to much grief over the last 2 years. It’s still frightening to look at.